Substitute Teacher Memoirs
(the following just things I thought of during class; maybe it's the coffee; I think it's lack of sleep; it can't be the crack - I got off that fo years ago)
He asked me if I’m retarded, I said slightly, I prefer special as the vocab word though
”I saw your girlfriend. She was kissing another guy.”
Fuck guys w/ mustaches.
Racing to get ready exit planes
Nice stash, that’s the look I would go with if I were you
Vocab – the assignment, one being roller-skating, “Italians invented roller-skating, ask you teacher tomorrow, not just a spicy meatball ethnic group, gangsters use to do drivebys on skates
Relate bowling and being in someone else’s shoes
Per. 5 Italian, see someone making paper airplane, was about to pretend I cared, but then thought, I’ve never seen a paper airplane made out of newspaper, enlighten me, but make sure you throw it Italian style – it’s about experiences new things
Cats lack sweet tooth, according to Current Science (Oct. 7, 2005 Vol. 91 Issue 3)
“Cats literally have no taste for chocolate and other sweet foods” (13).
Relate George Bush to expression study/Bill Clinton vs GB (couldn’t figure him out); relate to smiling when reporting deaths in Iraq
Forget Jews/Palestine, what about pussy cat feuds
I have never felt “never felt better” when asked how’re ya doing? Because I’m an optimist. Every second I feel it could be never been better.
Fuck people who send Christmas cards, especially with their children on them
Everybody’s got something these days. My doctor just diagnosed me with the living disease. A lot of human beings get this during life.
When someone tries to deny they aren’t against gays that all of a sudden bring out a whole list of people that they are great buddies with that are gay: my uncles gay, we all have that gay uncle, one of my sisters is gay and so is her Girl friend Greta, the whole staff at my hair dresser is gay, etc, and my best friend is gay…wait hold up…that’s where u draw the line…ur best friend is gay…so r u…and I’m not ain’t gay people and I refuse to come out with this long list of people I’m best buds w/ that are gay…I don’t know any gay people. Similar to blacks…not friends with any blacks, still don’t have to recite long list of black friends - dogs
a 21 year old woman from westchester, New York, United States. "engaged college student, obsessed with life. I love to hike and be outdoors when the weather ..."
I like black people, I use to eat w/ Beddy Crocker every morning before kindergarden
I’m so independent that I wear this t-shirt that all the independents wear. I can’t go anywhere w/out my independent t-shirt
Lesson of day: teachers just like you, except we graduated college and now have a degree to wear collared shirts everyday (my neck hurts) and we tuck our shirts in now, we’re successful. But other than that we remain human like you students, we shit, cry, eat, want, wonder, cry, scream, dance if we’re drunk (or gay, or female; otherwise no reason in world to shake your ass and show what your working with
Can I use the lav real quick because if I don’t go quickly teacher man might no let me go and finish my stream
She’s the worst teacher I’ve ever had
I am Jesus said a student
Mr. Kennedy you’re the man. I’m a man, whether I’m the man is debatable. You’re so cool. Yes, well, having high school students think I’m cool is my objective in life
When students throw papers and miss basket, I look pissed and tell them they have to make those shots, it’s playoff time
Create fake interview w/ Jeter on toilet, lst question get off chest, thank dad for sweater; why are u such a scumbag and how u like ur burger cooked, now we’re getting somewhere
Authority always comes in at the best times, when I’m yawning, rubbing eyes, letting kid do chicken dance
“Like so” Like no
Teacher starts talking about 1990 and Clean Air Act and ignites students imagination to ask for lav and nurse passes
Announcemnt over loud speaker, teachers called to office and students in O’Reilly’s class try to convince he was called down
Never thought of saying no to can I go to the bathroom, sure just make sure it doesn’t over flow and I get paid because u know, a cracker gotta get paid
My parents always told me I could grow up to be anything I want to be…so I told them I’m gonna grow up to be a strong black women; move over Oprah
Have you noticed lately, and if you haven’t you should have, more people are calling me buddy…buddy…we’ve never hung out and never plan too…no buddy
My wiping game is off…been having to wash my hands more lately
The Story of the Legendary Stuck Pooh
...it's a...a quite a story...I'm not too sure the public is ready for it to come out yet...
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Review: Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell; related to the epidemic of lesbians highjacking our gym curriculum
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The mysterious multiple use of the word "Et Cetera" (etc.) by a Manhattanville College professor
